The Educational One

What, you say, two posts in a row??  Are you a machine or something?  Why yes I am, thank you for noticing.

I am a fan of making attempts to learn from less-than-awesome experiences, and there were many things I learned over the course of the weekend.  I thought others might benefit from the knowledge I have recently acquired.  Cheers.

1. You should not keep a gas can in the trunk of your car.

If you are lazy enough (and/or busy enough) as I unfortunately was to literally drive you car to the point where it dies due to lack of fuel, by all means, feel free to walk yourself (or if you’re lucky enough to have someone come get you, drive, since it’s cold out) to the nearest Stewart’s and purchase an over-priced gas can to fill with approximately enough gas to get you to another Stewart’s where you will proceed to again pay too much to fill your gas tank.  But at least your car won’t be dead.  ‘Cause again, it’s cold out, and no one wants to be walking about amidst the “polar vortex.”

If you manage to leave some gas in the bottom of your $13 can, you should not leave it in the trunk where you originally stashed it once you finally get home, lest you spill gasoline all over the trunk of your car 3-5 days later taking a sharp turn.  For the love of god, just take the can out of the trunk.

2. If you do decide to leave said gas can in your trunk, you should not also have your favorite blanket since 8th grade in the trunk with it.  Or for that matter, anything really that you care enough about to not want doused in gasoline.

I think that line pretty much explains itself.

3. If you smell gasoline in your car while driving (knowing you have been lazy enough to leave the can in the trunk), you should probably remove the can immediately rather than waiting several days, unless you enjoy headaches.

“Huh, why does my car smell like that?  It’s probably nothing.”  Then, later that day:  “Wow I sure have been getting a lot of headaches lately.  And I’m kinda nauseous.  I’m sure it’s nothing.”  No, it is something.  It’s that ridiculous cubic-foot hunk of plastic emanating fumes throughout every crevice of your vehicle, and solving the problem is fairly simple.

4.  Upon discovering your favorite blanket has been saturated in gasoline once you finally do get around to taking the can out of the bloody trunk, you should not proceed to put said blanket in your washer.

You know where this is going.  For anyone wondering, it takes approximately 8 hot cycles with detergent and oxyclean to remove the smell of gasoline from the inside of your washer.  And incidentally, close to that many washes even to get the smell out of your blanket.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I am a brilliant human being.  So, dear readers, remember this advice if you find yourself in a similar predicament.  And if nothing else, just don’t put the blanket in the washer.


2 thoughts on “The Educational One

  1. Reminds me of a mishap Marge and I had long ago. It was about 1970, and I was in the Air Force. One summer weekend we had a clambake, and to deal with the messy aftermath I packed up all the shells, corncobs, used paper products, etc. in a big black trash bag and put it in the trunk of our car. I was going to dispose of the thing at the base on Monday, but I forgot about it. After a few days and unpleasant odor was apparent. Then the bottle flies appeared. When I finally opened the trunk, it was, as you pointed out, educational.

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