Trying something new can be funny in how it has the ability to intimidate. When I started painting, I would get very intimidated by canvas; something about it made me think that any time I used it, I had to come up with a mini-masterpiece that was deep and complex, evoking complicated emotions in the viewer. While this is certainly the ideal, it is by no means the result much of the time. I gradually got over this block when I learned to stretch and prime my own canvas. Something about the process made me realize that there was nothing inherently more regal or out-of-reach about the material; it was a surface to be changed by paints and brushes, thoughts, moods, and whim. Pretty simple actually. And if you mess something up, well, you can always paint over it.
I found myself coming up with a similar block regarding anything I might write about in this blog. In my mind, I began to think that in order to have anything worth reading, all of my entries should be deep and profound thoughts or statements. Before I’ve really even gotten started or developed much of an idea for this thing, I’ve already reinvented the canvas problem and have gotten intimidated again.
Well, that first thought is clearly a crock. We don’t walk around constantly professing deep and profound, life-changing statements in our day-to-day lives, so why would I think that those are the only type of thoughts I would produce here? I imagine a world where everyone only speaks when they have something complicated to profess, and it makes me laugh a little; how funny would that look, for everyone to be standing around gesturing, looking very important and speaking in monologue? Of course, sometimes I could do with a little less empty conversation, a little less “noise” for the sake of noise, but what can you do?
All of that to say some of this might be interesting, or thought-provoking enough start a conversation, but some of it might be garbage too. We can’t produce gold all the time. And for those of you who are able to produce gold on a consistent basis…well, I’m a bit jealous honestly.