The Second One

Trying something new can be funny in how it has the ability to intimidate.  When I started painting, I would get very intimidated by canvas; something about it made me think that any time I used it, I had to come up with a mini-masterpiece that was deep and complex, evoking complicated emotions in the viewer.  While this is certainly the ideal, it is by no means the result much of the time.  I gradually got over this block when I learned to stretch and prime my own canvas.  Something about the process made me realize that there was nothing inherently more regal or out-of-reach about the material; it was a surface to be changed by paints and brushes, thoughts, moods, and whim.  Pretty simple actually.  And if you mess something up, well, you can always paint over it.

I found myself coming up with a similar block regarding anything I might write about in this blog.  In my mind, I began to think that in order to have anything worth reading, all of my entries should be deep and profound thoughts or statements.  Before I’ve really even gotten started or developed much of an idea for this thing, I’ve already reinvented the canvas problem and have gotten intimidated again.

Well, that first thought is clearly a crock.  We don’t walk around constantly professing deep and profound, life-changing statements in our day-to-day lives, so why would I think that those are the only type of thoughts I would produce here?  I imagine a world where everyone only speaks when they have something complicated to profess, and it makes me laugh a little; how funny would that look, for everyone to be standing around gesturing, looking very important and speaking in monologue?  Of course, sometimes I could do with a little less empty conversation, a little less “noise” for the sake of noise, but what can you do?

All of that to say some of this might be interesting, or thought-provoking enough start a conversation, but some of it might be garbage too.  We can’t produce gold all the time.  And for those of you who are able to produce gold on a consistent basis…well, I’m a bit jealous honestly.

The First One

This is a new concept for me, since I am fairly shy when it comes to writing, and putting any writing of mine out on to the internet feels a bit bold.  But, as my mother-in-law pointed out, it could be cathartic.  So, here goes.

About 5 months ago, my husband and I welcomed our son into the world, and life as we had previously known it ceased to exist.  Babies have a way of shaking things up and slowing things down at the same time.  Our Friday and Saturday nights out with friends until the wee hours were replaced by feedings, diaper changes, baths, and more feedings/diaper changes.  My hours of the work-day or graduate school classes were momentarily put on hold and were replaced by more feedings, diaper changes and baths, as well as “tummy time” (I previously had no idea what the heck that was), naptimes, and reading.  I feel it is important to point out the obvious, that the choice of literature between a 3-5 month old child is quite different from graduate-level social work readings.  My attention started with learning about topics such as best-practice therapeutic interventions for individuals suffering from various mental health disorders; it has since moved to learning about the different thinks you can think, discovering that little llamas who wear red pajamas tend to be impatient when their parents do chores, and trying to find Spot.

Of course, life had begun to slow down certainly during the pregnancy, but the presence of our little bundle of joy brought it to a screeching halt.  This is by no means a complaint, but a rather astonished observation.  Who knew something that weighed less than 10 lbs could do that?

While admittedly, this shift was a bit of a shock to the system, I am pleased to say that we seem to be getting the hang of this parenting thing.  Our 5-month-old son weighs a whopping 17 pounds, sleeps through the night, has a happy temperament, and most amazingly, has not accidentally been left anywhere.

And so here we are as first-time parents.  We’re off to a start and are attempting adulthood, and I am going to make an effort to write about it.  We’ll see how this goes…